It's necessary to be alone sometimes....but you are not alone.

Over the last couple of days I could feel a shift in me. I am getting better at recognizing it when it comes. I am talking about depression. One of the mistakes we often make is recognizing the symptoms. It is easier to identify when we are down, don't want to get out of bed or perhaps have uncontrollable crying.

However, one of the first symptoms I often display is irritability and agitation. I literally get to the point where I cannot stand myself. I get short with everyone and often will feel so frustrated that I cry. I will continue to push my emotions aside, "I don't have time to deal with that right now!" I admittedly missed the signs today. Even the obvious one the Universe gave me this morning before work.

Had I headed the message, my day could have been a lot better than it turned out. This morning, while in a frenzy preparing to leave for work, I hurriedly looked at the tarot deck on my side table. I quickly flipped over a card..The Hermit. Hmm..I kind of smirked, not thinking much of it. Besides, I hadn't even shuffled the deck, just hastily turned over a card without much intention. And absolutely don't have time to just "be a hermit!"

Of course we all know the saying about hind-site. (Insert eye roll). Apparently I must learn all my lessons through hind-site and I need my vision tested! My day was full of inner turmoil, frustration, self loathing...all this compounded by days of just go go go. The demands of the holiday season both personally and by my occupation had caught up with me and were manifesting in my mind.

Finally. after a long frustrating day, induced all on my own, I sat down with my journal..looked over at my side table and decided to finally listen to what The Hermit had to say. Better late than never I suppose. What I failed to hear this morning was that I did not have to become a hermit,taking days to myself. I didn't need to shut myself off from others or the world.

The Hermit was desperately trying to remind me to slow down. "Slow down, breathe,be still Priscilla"...it said. Often when we get so enthralled in our emotions and busy in our doings...we forget that we need to take time to go within. If I were to have done this and took the qualities of The Hermit, slowed my thoughts,my breathing in the moment I was feeling overwhelmed, I could better cope. To be present. To be self-aware.

I would have seen my frustration and overwhelm for what it was. The day was not as bad as it seemed. My thoughts were not my reality. I am ok. Breathe.

This holiday season can be hard on many of us. My mental health issues normally rear their head around Halloween and peak by New Years. It is a triggering time,memories of our daughter we loss to cancer, her not being here this time of year. I realize many others find it difficult as well. Please head the message of The Hermit. Take time for yourself. Slow down. And if you need support,please tell someone. You are not alone.

#mentalhealth #seasonaldepression #youarenotalone #thehermit #breathe #selfaware