"Yoga looks good on you."

Yoga. I have been practicing Yoga for 16 months, for the most part, daily. That doesn't sound like a long time does it? To me, however, it feels like a lifetime ago from where I was.

I was not new to my spiritual journey when Yoga found me. I had been weaving my own conscious, spiritual path for many years. I believe I was subconsciously seeking what was seeking me my entire life. Perhaps, we spiritually encounter just what we need to grow and expand, just when we need it.

I had walked along the path of discovery, an explorer of my deep, inner realms. During these travels, Yoga came into my awareness. At the time, I was struggling once again, both with the health of my body and my mind. At 48, I was beginning to feel trapped inside both.

My body was reacting to the years of abuse it had endured. Whether that meant weight gain, consumption, poor habits, neglect or self-hatred, I was the architect of a home that could no longer continue to provide safe shelter.

My mind was no different. Though I had been on a healing journey with my mental health for years, it seems I continued to torture it myself. I was at a breaking point. I did not want to continue on in this manner any longer.

I cannot remember the exact moment, or a particular event that happened. I had found an intense interest in Hinduism thanks to a Youtuber I follow. I began to explore and integrate Hinduism into my belief systems. A system that continues to morph and expand. As I explored, Yoga kept coming into my awareness. I then began to explore Ayurvedic herbs, foods and practices.

Through these methods I began to heal my body. I began to meditate more. My spiritual practice sprang alive, into my physical realm. My candles were hot once more. The smell of incense permeated the air. i started to move my body. I wanted to discover ways to heal. And I have.

Yoga became alive for me. It began actively working through not only my physical body, but first and foremost my inner body, my ethereal body. On the mat I found a spiritual home. I felt held. I felt purpose.

It has not been a comfortable journey, especially in the beginning. Yoga has brought many things into my awareness that have been more than a little uncomfortable in fact. I have sobbed on my mat. Had overwhelming feelings of grief and sadness. I have experienced intense anger, frustration and deep resentment on my mat. Yoga did not leave my side. I promised myself to continue to arrive on my mat. Whatever that looked like, however it felt. Even when I did not feel like it, which was often.

Yoga then began to also provide intense release. Release of these old, negative patterns that kept my body, mind and spirit in a state of inflammation, chaos, doubt, depression and anxiety. I was releasing pain, and not just physical pain. Finally, began freeing myself of all the entanglements. Much like the Devil card in tarot. More than just my body began to stretch with each session. As it continues to each day that goes by.

I have lost over 50 pounds of actual weight along with immeasurable psychological weight. I am gaining strength & more muscle tone than I ever imagined possible. I feel stronger than I think I ever have, honestly, in my entire life. My mental health has improved dramatically. And even when it might not be so great, as we all experience trying times, I find that Yoga is my life preserver. It keeps me from going under when the storms roll in and the waves try to sweep me under.

The other day I had a yogi admire tell me, "Yoga looks good on you." And that was the best compliment I think I have ever received. Because I know that she was not just talking about my physical appearance. And that is everything.

om shanti shanti shanti

Priscilla