out of focus

In the wee hours of the morning I was awakened by a nightmare. I was left with a racing heart, anxious and still somewhat fearful. As I lie in bed, still dark outside, I begin to think about the war with, often at times, debilitating anxiety i have experienced for most of my life. Fight or flight. Future tripping anxiety I call it. The unknown. Worry.

Fully awake, I begin to think about a podcast I was listening to, ironically before bed. It was a podcast which spoke about anxiety, existential crisis and related subjects. I instantly remember a phrase the podcaster had spoken about while journeying with his own path.

He had suggested that instead of continuing to throw logs on the fire of anxiety and fear, to instead refocus on what I am trying to create instead of the fear, unease, anxiety and intrusive thoughts. So, what am I trying to create? And why. It is helpful for me to break this down. I basically want peace. I want to create more peace in my life, within.

Therefore, I will refocus on creating. What am I actively creating and why. Keeping that in mind when fear or anxiety creep in. Refocusing my attention and thoughts. I have noticed that when I am being creative in my life and feel more balanced. I am experiencing more purpose. Ideas flow. I feel stronger, more in control of aspects of my reality.

Refocus. What do I want to create, what am I creating. How can I apply creativity in other areas in my life. How might I create the life I want? What am I creating with my words and thoughts? I am not simply a human being in a state of doer-ship all the time, which often leads down the road of anxiousness, fear etc. Rather I am a creative being. Therein lies my keys to personal peace.

What is your focus? What are you creating?

Warmest Wishes From The Hollar,

Priscilla