Do Things The Hard Way

I have been experiencing various emotions lately. They have been lingering around lately. Something outside myself. Ever had a sadness that you could not name? One that could not be pinpointed to a single cause? It is like a ghostly visitor. You can sense it's presence but not see it. You can feel it but not touch it?

I believe this feeling for me is asking me to take a look closer. To follow it's ghostly beckoning. It is not a haunting however. It doesn't stay for long. It does however increase in intensity at times.

I think when I feel this intensity, it means it is trying to communicate. Some transition is on it's way. The more I resist the transition, the more intense the feeling of sadness becomes. Frustration often follows. Mostly because I want to move past this feeling. But often I am not listening to what it wants.

I think this has to do with my spiritual journey. When it begins to merge into our physical, mundane life. It wants to integrate. And why not? Often we try to separate the two. That is where friction starts to be felt. Like those that are only spiritual on Sunday or when someone is looking. But I am not on that path, I did not take that road.

We think it easier to not transition. We often desire to change, to grow but at the same time not outside our comfort zones. Perhaps, it gives a sense of security. Or control. More on our own terms. When we are ready. But I realize that once my awakening became stronger and more intense, it would forever pull me. The more I let go, the faster the transition, the more it integrates. For this I am happy.

I am glad I have chosen the path less traveled. Perhaps it chose me? Even when it is hard to see. I am grateful I was put on the road not often taken. Even when I do not know where it is going. Or who or what is guiding it.

field.

So, when I feel the visits of unexplained emotions float in, sit with them too long, allowing sadness, anger, disappointment to set in, take over for a bit or try to work thru them the way I did in the past, thinking "why must this be so hard?", I remember these things, look outside myself and ask instead, what is it saying? What is trying to show me? What is trying to integrate? If it were easy, wouldn't the path be more worn?

This morning as I went about my business, I heard the television in the background. It was a John F. Kennedy speech. In it he was speaking about going to the moon. “We choose to go to the Moon,” Kennedy said. “We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard..."

Ever heard or caught yourself saying.."why do always got to do things the hard way?" Why couldn't my life had been easier? I think I was chosen for this. I think I continue to choose it everyday. Because it is hard. There lies the greatest treasures in this journey.

When I think it would have been easier to take the straight path and well lit road, the wide, often traveled highways... I remember that I would have missed the meandering thru the woods...the narrow roads thru the mountains...the moonlit path...the sunny trails thru the